Friday, April 28, 2006

Might as well JUMP!

Darkfiber says "I have Van Halen's Dancing the night away running though my head. We should drop acid and go dancing."

And I say "Yes, but only to the music of Van Halen."

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Mr. Rick Was Tired

Last night I didn't go out. I didn't stay up late. I had not a drop to drink. This morning when the alarm went off at 6:30 I got up and hit what I thought was snooze and went back to bed. I woke again out of a heavy sleep thinking, gosh, this feels too good. What's wrong here? Sure enough it was 9:00. How the hell did that happen? I'm now finishing my 3rd cup of coffee, I've had a donut, and some chocolate, and I'm STILL groggy. Mr. Rick was tired.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Stubborn or Stupid?

When it's the end of April and it's been in the 70's, and then drops to the 30's, I just can't bring myself to put the winter coat back on. I just won't. This morning was no different. I put an extra sweater on and my leather jacket. I walked down Western Ave. God Damnitting it a whole lot and by the time I reached the El stop my umbrella was ripped and I could barely feel my hands. Still, I'm not going to dress for winter because it's not winter. Stuborn or stupid? Both I suppose.

I've been trying to find online this picture someone gave me a printed copy of yesterday and I have hanging next to my PC. It's a Gary Larson drawing of Daffy Duck typing up his resume, and it's really funny. At least it is to me. Well, here's the resume at least:


Aug '63 - Nov '67:
Jumped around a lot and went
"woohoo, woohoo, woohoo!"

Jan. '68 - Sept. '83:
Jumped around a lot and went
"woohoo, woohoo, woohoo!"

Oct. '84 - present:
After short stint in politics, jumped
around a lot and went, "woohoo, woohoo!"

SPECIAL SKILLS: Can be blown away by
shotgun at close range without dying

Jumped around a lot

Monday, April 24, 2006

I'm going to pass this information on to you

Just so you don't make the same mistake as I. Although it seemed like a good idea and a sure fire way to wake up on Monday morning, skinny dipping in the deep fryer was NOT a good idea. Don't do it.

Friday, April 21, 2006

New Products

I've been using Big Boob Cream. See over there in that picture on the right. It doesn't work so well for the bedhead though.

Also, I told my coworkers today that I have been using a new whiskey scented shampoo and that is why I've come in here a few times smelling like whiskey. They asked how long I've been using it and I said "Oh, for a few weeks." They said that there has been a peculiar scent coming from me for much longer than a few weeks though. I then explained that I've been using a beer scented soap for years. "Oh I see. Good for you!"

Thursday, April 20, 2006

"Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen"

"We're the Ladies & Gentleman. This next song is called 'I Wanna Thank You' and it's about thanking someone."

I checked out Skid's set at Kinetic Playground last night. They did an after the Franz Ferdinand/ Death Cab party show across the street from Aragon Ballroom. Besides the right side speaker of the PA going in and out for most of the second half of the set, they sounded great. Quite an interesting crowd in there too. There were a lot of very drunk people. When I was leaving I saw 2 very drunk guys fight in front of the club while another very drunk guy watched. It ended with one of the guys going down and cracking his head very hard on the concrete of the side of the building. The guy was having a very hard time walking afterwards and his drunk friend, who was in no condition to take care of him, stood there stupified. They eventually zig zagged down the sidewalk through some very thick apple sauce.

I realised today that Seven has been living with us for a year now. April 17th to be exact. Cowpie and I have enjoyed having ya around little buddy. You're good little dude.

I didn't drink all that much last night, but I feel like I did today. Could just be the staying up until 3:00 AM. Besides the flanger, we may have to throw in a little analog delay and wah wah pedal to help move this day along smoothly.

Let's end this with some words from Metric; a band I've been digging a whole lot lately:

Satisfy myself
Avoid beginners
Who long to shut my mouth
Till I take one of them home
'Cause I know how it feels
Filling in the blanks
Looking on the bright side
When there is no bright side
Coming in your pants
For the off chance
With a poster of a girl

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


In the words of Drkfiber, "When in doubt, use a flanger!" Whoop!!

Friday, April 14, 2006

POst Post PosT

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."

—Douglas Adams
Mostly Harmless, 1992

For lunch I went to Potbelly. I had a tuna sub, not because I was raised Catholic, but because I wanted one. When I went to pay for it the woman at the counter asked me what I was reading. I said "The Russian Revolution." She said "Never heard of it." I quickly responded, "But you've heard of the revolution, right?" She laughed nervously and said nothing. Very strange. I then sat outside and ate and watched a very unenthusiastic protest march by. Now I am working and I am still tired.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006


At least it has been at work. All last week I listened to hair metal and was in a relatively pleasant mood and got a lot of work done. Dokken, Def Leppard, Cinderella, White Lion, Skid Row, Bon Jovi, Poison, Motley Crue, Ratt, KISS, Queensryche, L.A. Guns,etc…

This morning I think, as they say, I woke on the wrong side of the bed, and the mood just progressed on the commute in. I was running a little late and the first thing said to me when I walked in was “oh, are you here now?” Spitting venom I practically ripped his head off. “YOU’RE LOOKING AT ME, AREN’T YOU? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M HERE??!!! THEN I’M OBVIOUSLY HERE!!!!!!” There was definitely a look of fear in his eyes and probably a feeling of embarrassment for asking such a dumb question. Whoa, down boy; easy tiger.

After grabbing breakfast and a cup of coffee I threw on a little Long Cold Winter by Cinderella and pretty soon I’m smiling again and in a much better mood. Thank you, Cinderella. Poor Danny, he’s about to go on tour with a couple revived hair metal heads.

Here’s a fun little memory brought on by listening to Cinderella. I’ve known $in since high school. We first met in a class called Music Unlimited. Pretty much any kid who played an instrument took the class. Everyone got an A just for taking the class. The majority of the class were guitar players; $in being one of them. We got to bring our instruments in one day. I can’t remember what the assignment was. There were some kids that were much better than others. $in was sitting in with a couple other guitar players. These were probably the best guitarists in the school. $in was not one of the best guitarists in the school. These guys were playing Stevie Ray Vaugn and Jimi Hendrix and doing some really impressive stuff. The circle would come around to $in and he would start playing the opening riff to Gypsy Road. He would get as far as the first 2 or 3 notes, stop, look confused, and start tuning his guitar. This must have happened about 5 or 6 times; each time with him looking a bit more nervous and uncomfortable. Poor $in, I’m sure he’s still haunted by this memory, but the vision still cracks me up.

I hear Drkfiber is across the street from me today. I’m going to go throw pickles at him.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Banshee Screams for Buffalo Meat.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Good thing I get off one stop before or this could have been me

CTA escalator accident; injuries reported
Tribune staff report
Published April 7, 2006, 8:43 AM CDT

At least three people were reported injured in an escalator accident at the Chicago Transit Authority's Blue Line station at Jackson and Dearborn Streets in the Loop, authorities said.

Fire department spokesman Will Knight said the up escalator suddenly reversed direction, causing three commuters to fall off. He said they suffered minor injuries and were taken to area hospitals.

I saw the ambulance while walking down Dearborn this morning and wondered. The escalator wasn't working at Monroe this morning either. I wonder if they turned them all off. Anyway, won't you come:

04.08.06 (Saturday!)
Tankboy Presents these hot shit bands...

Elbo Room
2871 N. Lincoln Ave.

Venom Lords (10pm)
Miranda Sound (11pm)
MaM (at Midnight!)
$7 / 21+

click here.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


Just noticed a paper clip was stuck to my shirt.

You are an assface utchmynitz.

Yes, I know.

Why don't you stick a crayon in your ear.

I'd prefer not to.

You are a smelly hamster.

Thank you. I am not a proletarian, nor am I a communist.

You like things.

This is true.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006


They went and changed the clocks over the weekend. Moved em forward. Lost me an hour, I did. I will be jet-lagged for months. The best thing for me to do in this situation is to every once in a while do a somersault, or cartwheel, shout "whoop!", drink a beer, turn the stereo up, ride the bike, go swimming, or kick a can. This will not cure the jet-lag, but it will provide temporary amusement making me forget for a minute or 2 that I am tired.

The Cough conveniently walked over to my desk at 5 to 5:00 yesterday to tell me that she sent me an e-mail of something I had to do before I left last night. Let the fun begin. I say conveniently because I had to be up at Metro at 5:30 to meet a girl who I was buying a Strokes ticket from. I was late of course. It all worked out fine though.

I've been spending a lot of money on live music. I never ever feel bad about spending money on live music.

My cousin has been living in Telluride, Colorado for almost a year now. He sent me a picture of downtown last night.

Looks nice, doesn't it? I sure do like it out west.

Spent most of the weekend with my sister, nephew, mom, and step father. It was a good weekend and the nicest time I've had with my sis in at least 2 years. Probably longer. She's come a long way and I'm really proud of her. I hope I didn't just jinx it.

Gonna play a show this weekend with 2 bands I like a lot. More on that later.

I've been trying to avoid eating anything purple and drinking anything grey. So far it's worked out well for me.

I am not a smelly pirate hooker.