Friday, July 15, 2005

I Got a Head Full of Serpents and Mouth Full of Spiders

You know, I wanted to type when I first got here but my desk seems to be the place people want to stop and talk and talk and talk. That is all fine and stuff but, well, I think I lost my rhythm.

Ok, so tonight I'm going to see Tom Petty and The Black Crowes. I've been looking forward to it. I've never seen Tom Petty and have always liked him. Who doesn't really? The Black Crowes I saw once years ago open up for ZZ Top, before they were kicked off that tour for not wanting to be sponsored by Bud Lite. I believe on stage Chris Robinson said "tonight's music is brought to you by the Black Crowes and NOT Bud Lite." Guess ZZ Top didn't like that and they got the boot. Nice work Chris. Much respect.

Anyway, we will heading out in style tonight. Dawn has hired us a limo so we can booze it up all the way there and all the way back and not worry about driving drunk. It's also Adam's birthday. Happy Birthday Adam! I'll give a review of the show tomorrow or Sunday or whenever I feel like it.

Now, enjoy some Friday fun:

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING:I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING:The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!!

IDIOT SIGHTING:At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING:I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

They walk among us..............scary!!


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