Tuesday, August 23, 2005


I got off the train yesterday and saw that the bike was still locked up in front of The Green Eye where I left it Sunday afternoon. Went to the store and bought cigs and a 6 of pear cidar(I drank 3 very slowly last night before sleeping only because I felt so awful and it sounded kind of good), and then rode home. I walked in my apartment and almost gagged. Even though I had opened up all the windows before leaving for work yesterday I had not thrown anything out. It smelled like a bar. Beer bottles everywhere and full ashtrays. I had a sudden burst of energy as I knew I couldn't handle that. The apartment smells much better now.

Impressive or scary? Started indulging at 6:00 Saturday evening and stopped at 9:00 Sunday night without any sleep and only 2 meals during that time period. From band practice to Josh's party to my place to Lazo's to drinking beers in front of Green Eye(waiting for them to open like they were supposed to be but never did) to Pontiac to somersaults in Wicker Park to an I'm not sure how many hours dance party at my place. I don't remember exactly what time we arrived there. I guess both scary and impressive. Craziest part is that besides one small moment where I thought I lost my wallet, I felt in control and aware. Yesterday though when I felt like death I was telling myself that I didn't really believe I was trying to kill myself but sometimes I wondered. I had fun though so I don't know. Also had some various great partners in crime. Today I still feel a little damp but will let myself dry out quite a bit more through the week.

On a different note, it looked, smelled, and felt like fall this morning. I liked it. I'm always sad to see another summer come to an end but that usually goes away quickly as fall is my favorite time of the year. But summer is not over yet. It will be hot again.


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