utchmynitz

2008-04-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

A Toast

2008-01-18T11:42:00.000-08:00

To all the hatheads I've ever had. Here's to you guys!

Nazi claim may thwart Bukowski landmark

2007-11-28T17:22:00.000-08:00

By JACOB ADELMAN, Associated Press Writer
39 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES - The hard-drinking, foul-mouthed writer Charles Bukowski once described himself as a guy who wouldn't walk away from a brawl.

Now it's up to fans of the gutter poet to take up the fight to have his beaten-down bungalow turned into a civic monument over the objections of the property's owners, who claim he was a Nazi sympathizer.

Backers say the east Hollywood abode deserves recognition and the restoration that would go with it because it's where Bukowski banged out stories and poems that transformed him from a working stiff with a literary streak into an internationally celebrated author.

"The great books that really started him on his career — that all happened on De Longpre," said Neeli Cherkovski, author of "Bukowski: A Life" and a friend of the writer. "It was where Charles Bukowski became the voice of Los Angeles."

But the owners, who tried to sell the bungalow court as tear-down for $1.3 million, are poised to fight the proposal before a city commission Thursday based on allegations that Bukowski had Nazi leanings.

Co-owner Victoria Gureyeva refused to discuss the issue on her lawyer's advice, but previously said she would enlist local Jewish activists in her campaign against landmarking.

"This man loved Hitler," Gureyeva, who is Jewish, told the alternative newspaper LA Weekly. "This is my house, not Bukowski's. I will never allow the city of Los Angeles to turn it into a monument for this man."

The city's preservationist community is lining up behind the proposal, although some were bemused that a man known best for boozy excesses might have the place he once lived given the same landmark designation as City Hall and the Hollywood sign.

Bukowski, who died of leukemia in 1994 at 73, has a cultish following around the world and the esteem of critics and fellow literati. Sean Penn, Tom Waits and Bono have professed their admiration for the writer. The movies "Barfly" and "Factotum" were based on his books and his papers join manuscripts and rare volumes from Shakespeare and Chaucer at the Huntington Library in San Marino.

But he is as well known for his image as a down-at-the-heels drunk and for pronouncements like, "Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink."

The impulse to make Bukowski's home a monument comes from a feeling that he was a more accurate chronicler of the city than other writers, said David Fine, author of "Imagining Los Angeles: A City in Fiction."

Raymond Chandler, Aldous Huxley, Nathaniel West and F. Scott Fitzgerald are far brighter literary lights, along with others who came here to toil as screenwriters. But they tended to portray an apocalyptic landscape of crime noir and empty celebrity. Bukowski grew up here and saw it from a less cynical, more authentic down-to-earth vantage.

"He's writing about a city that people could recognize as a city of people — drifters and people that hang out at the library and on park benches," Fine said.

Bukowski, who moved into the bungalow in his 40s, lived in the adobe-colored one-story home on De Longpre Avenue from 1963 to 1972. The windows and doors are now boarded up, along with those of its neighboring bungalows, and a tall chain link fence keeps the curious out. A dirty camper van was parked outside on a recent night with its door open to the breeze and a shopping cart heaped with stuffed garbage bags beside it. A chorus of children could be heard crying in the apartment building next door.

The scene evoked images Bukowski described in the poem, "The Division": "I live in an old house where nothing/screams victory/reads history/where nothing/plants flowers."

"It just fit Bukowski, the kind of self-invented cool-slash-fall guy surrounded by the ruined landscape of Los Angeles," Cherkovski said of the house, where Bukowski wrote his semi-autobiographical first novel, "Post Office," and other works.

The effort to preserve the house began this summer when literary tour guide Richard Schave was scouting an excursion based on Bukowski's life and found the bungalow court vacant, boarded up and for sale. Schave posted a screen shot of an online sale ad on his blog, where it was spotted by preservationist Lauren Everett.

Everett's petition to have the ramshackle former rental declared a historic cultural monument gained the support of the Los Angeles Conservancy, which pushes for the preservation of significant properties, and city employees who advise the Cultural Heritage Commission.

A vote earlier this month was postponed after the property's owners said they hadn't been notified enough in advance to oppose the landmarking.

Attorney Joseph Trenk said their challenge includes the Nazi allegations, an issue raised by poet Ben Pleasants in the book "Visceral Bukowski: Inside the Sniper Landscape of L.A. Writers."

Pleasants, who has not been asked to appear at the landmarking hearing, said the author's sympathies toward Nazi Germany are crucial to understanding his writing.

"There are many examples of him making the bad guys Jewish," Pleasants said in an interview, citing a sneering reference to Jewish lawyers in the book "Ham on Rye." In his own book, Pleasants recounts a time he was interviewing Bukowski at a deli when the writer "gawked at the predominantly Jewish diners" and belted out "turn on the gas," a reference to concentration camp gas chambers.

But Gerald Locklin, author of the biography "Charles Bukowski: A Sure Bet," said he can't remember any evidence of anti-Semitism in Bukowski's work or correspondence he shared with the author.

Still, Locklin said he didn't see the point of landmarking the home.

"It seems to be kind of a nonissue," he said. "If I were to look around the place and say: 'Was there anything particularly remarkable about it?' No."

GOOD MORNING!

2007-11-25T08:33:00.001-08:00

2007-10-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

MaM on WLUW Radio One Tonight!

2007-10-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight! Thursday October 4...
WLUW-88.7 presents Radio One: Chicago
with Milk at Midnight performing live in studio + interview.
Hear new, unreleased songs from MaM's forthcoming as-yet-untitled
full-length!

Radio One: Chicago
Every Thursday 6-10pm
WLUW-88.7
www.myspace.com/radioonechicago
www.wluw.org

Thanks!
From your good friends, Milk at Midnight

www.myspace.com/milkatmidnight
www.milkatmidnight.com
www.virb.com/milkatmidnight

PS. MaM to perform as The Cure at the end of the month. More details to come.

BEWARE THE SPANISH WOOD DEMON

2007-09-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

10 times as ferocious as the Tiger Monkey, and they're coming. Mark my words. They're coming.

More Pics

2007-08-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

Hello Chicago; I'm Home

2007-08-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

You're slightly cooler than you were when I left you on Thursday and I welcome it. Spent the last 4 and half days in San Francisco and enjoyed her very much, but I'm forever your's Chicago. I'll certainly visit her again though. She showed me a wonderful time.

I'm tired and I have to head back out soon to pick up W from the airport, so for now I'll leave ya with a short story and a few favorite pics and maybe one or two from Lolla as well.

Friday while W was in meetings I sent out on a walking journey. Started out at Union Square, then north on Grant Ave. through Chinatown for Dim Sum and people watching, up through North Beach, and all the way to The Embarcadero. Pictures of Alcatraz, a walk through Fisherman's Wharf, and back southeast down Columbus Ave. to City Lights Book Store and couple pints next door at Vesuvio.

Early on my journey walking up Grant through Chinatown I walked towards a man staring me up and down. He was an older Humpty Dumpty looking man. He wore jean shorts pulled up high with a white t-shirt tucked in tight. Brown dress socks pulled all the way up and white sneakers. He wore glasses, had a thick mustache, and leaned on a cane. He looked me up and down as I walked past and when I was probably, in his opinion, far enough away he turned to the company he was with and said, with a strong Texas accent, "WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOFY LOOKING BASTARD!"

I almost never respond in these situations, but suddenly I found myself yelling back, perhaps from the irony of the situation, "HEY, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BUDDY!" I chuckled for many blocks after.

Now I leave you with a few favorite pics:

Notice the time on the clock.

And one from Lolla

777(3 numbers, 3 events, 1 day)

2007-07-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today is a day of celebration, and I'm not talking in any holy type of way, but a glorious day of celebration indeed.

I've had Seven for a few years now, and I don't actually know how old he is, or what day he was born.

So I declare today to be Seven's birthday. Happy Birthday, Seven! It's certainly been a pleasure having you around, buddy.

Below down there in the middle is Becki. She's one of my favorite people, and today she celebrates another year of being alive. 30 years of being alive.

Tonight we celebrate with her. Happy Birthday, Becki! Wayne Coyne style!!

Last, but certainly not at all least. It's been a year, and sometimes The W and I do want to bite each other sooooo hard!

But we haven't eaten each other yet, and after a year

We still like each other a WHOLE LOT.

So there you have it. 777. WHOOP!!!!!!!!!!!

And thank you.

Lunch

2007-06-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

It used to be that I could put away an entire steak burrito bowl from Chipotle with ease. These days I'm stuffed right at the halfway point. Thank you.

AHHH YES

2007-06-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

The Word of the Day for June 21 is:

estival \ESS-tuh-vul\ adjective

: of or relating to the summer

Example sentence:
On summer evenings, Carl would sit for hours on the porch enjoying the warmth of the estival breezes.

Love to Learn? Get the knowledge you need at Britannica. FREE Trial.
Did you know?
"Estival" and "festival" look so much alike that you might think they're very closely related, but that isn't the case. "Estival" traces back to "aestas," which is the Latin word for "summer" (and which also gave us "estivate," a verb for spending the summer in a torpid state — a sort of hot-weather equivalent of hibernation). "Festival" also comes from Latin, but it has a different and unrelated root. It derives from "festivus," a term that means "festive" or "merry." "Festivus" is also the ancestor of "festive" and "festivity" as well as the much rarer "festivous" (which also means "festive") and "infestive," meaning "not merry, mirthless."

*Indicates the sense illustrated in the example sentence.

2007-06-20T20:32:00.001-07:00

Prize Beagle

2007-06-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

Prize Beagle is where Milk At Midnight spent a good part of last weekend and will spend many summer hours working on a long overdue record. Pumped?

Fist pumping pumped!!

2007-06-05T16:15:00.000-07:00

Two Days Away! Now with Cheap Beer!

Just a quick reminder ... we're celebrating our 3rd Anniversary with and 18 and over show at Subterranean this Thursday. We've lined up the musical talents of Milk At Midnight, Sweetish, and We Make Thunder to get your toes tapping with tunes catchier than a cross-continental tour of TB. And we've got The Hood Internet DJs STV SLV and ABX spinning until the wee hours of the morning. And we'll have the staff of Chicagoist there for you to pat on the back / argue with animatedly throughout the evening!
Also, with the help of Goose Island, we're bringing you $2.50 pints of Goose Island 312 all night long to limber you up, loosen your lips, and provide plenty of social lubrication.
So, we'll see you this Thursday! Doors are at 8:30 p.m. so get there early and to take full advantage of our generous drink special and general bonhomie.

Listen!!

2007-05-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

I smell like a bottle of booze and a chimney. I was an hour late for work and I'm dirty. I missed a conference call. I'm breathing fire and the boss is disgusted and pissed. I don't care. I'm smiling. I'd like to place my order now. One double of anything and 3 vikings. To go! Thank you.

"I’m not clean, I’m not washed up. This dream I don't ever give up."

2007-03-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

It's one thing when you go see a performance for the first time by an artist you've really admired and listened to for a while and walk out feeling fulfilled and high from the experience. It's a great feeling, but also you realise, of course it was good. It had to be good. I knew I wouldn't be disappointed, but I'm so glad they delivered. Yeah!!

It's a whole different story and even more rewarding when you go in blindly to a performance and walk out with your eyes wide open and seeing bright vivid colors for the first time and saying, "I had no idea!" That pretty much describes my experience last night.

Patty Griffin performed at The Vic Theatre. The Vic is one of my favorite venues for concerts. This show had assigned seating, which is not usually the case there, and we did not have tickets, but thanks to a very special favor from a good friend we found ourselves in the 6th row.

Now I say I went in blindly and that is the truth. W has put on cd's of her's while we were doing stuff around the house, or talking, or whatever, but it's been more like background music. So while I was familiar of who I was going to see and had an idea of what kind of show I was going to, I really knew nothing.

10 minutes after we take our seats the band walks out followed by a very tiny girl with red hair who immediately commanded attention from the very first notes sung. I was mesmerized. About 4 or 5 songs into the set she sits at the piano and tells a story of how she had been talking to a songwriter friend who said, "Ya know, between the 2 of us we don't have one happy song and that's just pathetic." Patty talks about how she decided to take a crack at it and "it's real easy if you just write about shoes and mom and stuff." She starts in on piano and then the band kicks into this beautiful powerful heavy song. 3/4's into it, almost teary eyed, I look at W and say, "This is supposed to be a happy song?" She too is almost speechless and in awe. This song is followed by 3 more very emotional songs sung just over an acoustic guitar and I'm thinking to myself, if the band doesn't come back out soon I'm going to lose my shit. I look around and there doesn't seem to be a dry eye around me. The band does come back out and it gets pretty rockin and before we know it the show is over and we're definitely left wanting more.

What a songwriter. What a voice. What a show! And the best part is I had no expectations. No idea I would leave so completely moved and inspired. I ran into someone I know in the line for the bathroom on the way out and told him the brief version of my experience and he said, "Yeah, she could sing the phone book and it would be amazing."

WADE THROUGH THE BOGGS

2007-03-23T17:30:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday, people, and this is a Friday blog. This was meant to be done hours ago, but I've been busy and shit.

The pedal has been to the floor all week with some minor breaks for fuel and rest, but not much. I tell ya, I woke this morning from a real deep sleep and just stared at the clock trying to figure out what the hell it meant and what day it was and why I was suddenly awake. Is it the.....No, it's Friday. Wait, is it Friday? Yeah. What am I doing? Oh shit, I have to go to work!

So yeah, a few highlights. Had a St Patricks type day on Sunday instead. Much more pleasant I believe than Saturday night prolly was. Had the special treat of seeing Sebadoh twice. Shank Hall, as in Spinal Tap, (Yes, it's a real place. I had no idea.) in Milwaukee on Tuesday and Metro in Chicago Wednesday. Eric Gaffney, Lou Barlow, and a very skinny Jason Lowenstein. The original line up and in top form. 2 shows I should have seen 15 years ago and am forever greatful that I had a chance to this week. 2 mostly different sets. Very exciting, very inspiring. Here's what Lou has to say about the tour so far.

Tonight I'm going to hit some parties. Tomorrow the band and I will go to the CAN TV studio and play some tunes, and do some sketches, and I really don't know what the hell else. Sunday we'll be playing a benefit for the The Trap Door Theatre and here's more on that:

Sunday, Mar 25 - 6pm - $10
present
Dorian Taj
Penthouse Sweets
The Tennis Courts
Milk at Midnight
PLUS: DJ Tankboy

The Fourth Annual Trapdoor Benefit-The Trap Door Theatre has been invited to Romania with Matei Visniec's Old Clown Wanted in May 2007! The International Theatre Festivals of Arad, Sibiu and Bucharest have invited our production of Old Clown Wanted to perform this spring.

All proceeds will benefit The Trap Door Theatre's tour to Romania. If you are unable to attend but would like to still support us, please make your checks payable to Trap Door Productions, and send to: Trap Door Theatre 1655 W. Cortland Ave., Chicago, IL. 60622. All donations are tax deductible and every donation helps!

DORIAN TAJ has been around the Chicago scene for ten years and no matter what the venue they always put on a fantastic show. And when I say a fantastic show, I mean they not only play well, but also play to the crowd, use witty commentary. Lyrically, Dorian Taj’s work is intelligent and clever while not pretentiously cerebral and musically they rock. And when I say they rock, I’m not speaking of just plain old rock ‘n’ roll music, they manage to be both deceptively simple and complex at the same time. Their sound is unique and for lack of a better term almost scruffy. All of the musicians in the band are obviously very talented, but clean and pure is not the sound they are looking for, rather Dorian Taj has a slightly gritty feel. - Conci - bestchicagoneighborhoods.com

PENTHOUSE SWEETS:"Its a shame this local quartet is reduced to begging for a label on its myspace page ("please someone put our goddamn record out") - its second self released ep, see you in bed, is loads better than most of the label-approved indie schlock that swamps my desk. their songs have a touch of small faces, a dash of guided by voices, and more than a pinch of the replacements - nothing you havent heard before, but they sound rightfully proud of their glamourless glam rock, and there are startling guitar and organ bits to turn your head. somebody out there knows how to sell this stuff..." -- Monica Kendrick - Chicago Reader

MILK AT MIDNIGHT is Danny Doom on vocals and guitars, Nick Ritz on bass guitar, vocals, guitar and drums, and Eric Ander$in on drums and bass. The band occasionally includes a drum machine and a tiny clock radio that makes static voices, and sometimes invites guests on banjo and keyboards. But, essentially, they are a rock and roll trio that have corrupted the normal patterns of sound.

MILK AT MIDNIGHT have just released a new 6-song EP, “Letter Bombs and Holidays,” recorded in the last months of 2004.Milk at Midnight recorded a full-length album entitled "A Fit To End All Time," released independently in late 2003. “‘A Fit To End All Time’ has everything I love: melody, power, adventure, heart and the true feeling of three guys working towards the common goal of creating something unique.”

DJ TANKBOY resides in the body of some tall blonde guy and lives in Chicago with his girlfriend Photogal and her pets Lucy the Dog and Chloe the Cat. He himself owns a beagle named Betty who may actually be slightly more famous than most of the musicians slogging through the local scene. He's written about music for much longer than most bands you hear on the radio have even existed. He also swears that it wasn't him who did that and has learned that "deny everything" is a basic tenet of existence.

This show is at Martyr's and we play first. We've been working on a lot of new material and quite a bit will be in the set on Sunday. Exciting!

I guess that's all I have to talk about right now.

Good bye.

The weekend is upon us

2007-03-09T17:17:00.000-08:00

Have fun people, but not this much fun!

Damn, I was going to type a blog but looked at the time. Where did today go? Sheesh. Happy hour. See ya!

Slurp

2007-02-20T12:28:00.000-08:00

Monday I drank for caulk, Bukowski, and the Presidents. Sunday I drank in Chinatown for the Year of the Boar. I was born in a Year of the Boar. Saturday I drank for Flying Saucers, the sun, and shopping. Friday I drank for rock and roll. Cheers!

HAPPY HOUR!!

2007-02-15T23:35:00.000-08:00

Milk at Midnight
Early show! All ages!
Friday February 16 at The Beat Kitchen
http://www.beatkitchen.com
2100 W. Belmont

Milk at Midnight
opens up for The Trews
http://www.thetrewsmusic.com/news.php
also w/The Its!
http://www.theits.com/newsite/news.html

Doors at 5:30, Show at 6pm
$8
All Ages!

MaM is the middle band! (no later than 7pm!)

Thank you!

http://www.myspace.com/milkatmidnight
http://www.milkatmidnight.com

But in the meantime, some genuine South Beach Walking Blue Beans! Red, to the left there, protects herself the best she knows how. POW!!!!

And just as soon as Red thinks it's safe. VROOM!!!

Well, Red, at least we have booze, right? And music. You know where I'll be. Come join me in Chicago.

Grin and Bear it

2007-02-02T14:55:00.000-08:00

There's a fever in the air. I along with a large part of the city of Chicago have Super Bowl fever. I grew up watching The Bears. Been there for the good, the bad, and the very very ugly. So this is a big deal and a lot fans feel the same way.

With that being said I can understand how someone living in the city who is not a fan can find it annoying that there's been so much coverage, hype, blue and orange everywhere, and a whole lot of energy in Chicago. I can understand that, but I say grin and Bear it. That's right; I really did just say that. Grin and Bear it. It isn't like this happens very often. The last time was 21 years ago! It will be over before you know it though. And think of it this way, whenever a Chicago sports team does well the city just comes alive even more than it already is and it's even more exciting to be here. People just feed off the energy of a winner and themselves feel like winners. Everybody wants to feel like a winner.

Another way to look at it is that Super Bowl Sunday is kind of like a holiday. You don't even have to enjoy football to have fun on Super Bowl Sunday. Parties everywhere, good eats, good socializing, and an excuse to get loud. I'm always looking for a reason to yell. YEAH!!!

So, in ending my football talk I say, GO BEARS!! GO CHICAGO!! Join in the fun, people, because it will be gone real soon and you'll wish you had at least been a part of it.

OK, what else is up? The W and I have really missed Yellow Face. We've decided to hop on a plane next weekend and search for him. We hear he hangs down south a lot so we wil be spending 4 days and 3 nights in Miami. Too bad it's not this week, but hey.

We, as in Milk At Midnight, have been working on a handful of new tunes. Working on new music is a sure fire way of putting Utch in a good mood. I'll say that at least one but probably 2 songs will be unleashed on fresh ears at the next show. When is that show you ask? Why it's right here:

Friday, February 16th (Early Show)

THE TREWS myspace
MILK AT MIDNIGHT myspace
THE ITS! myspace
Doors @ 5:30 pm Show @ 6:00 pm
$8.00, All Ages

And it's here:

BEAT KITCHEN
(773) 281 - 44442100 W. Belmont Chicago, IL 60618

Well, I guess that's it for now. Be safe wherever you end up Sunday, cheer loud, and don't drive drunk. Thank you.

Baby $in!!!

2007-01-31T01:42:00.000-08:00

We met yesterday. She's adorable. Born at 8:29 AM.

2007-01-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-22T10:50:00.000-08:00

35

2006-12-27T18:59:00.000-08:00

Sheesh! How'd that happen?

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

-John Lennon-

Cheers!!

A Christmas Show

2006-12-14T09:04:00.000-08:00

Milk at Midnight are playing a show
Thursday December 14
at The Beat Kitchen 2100 W. Belmont
Chicago, IL

Naughty or Nice Benefit For Chicago
Food Depository!
w/The Ladies and Gentlemen
The Assembly
Farewell Captain

Doors @ 8:30 pm Show @ 9:00 pm
$8.00 or $5.00 w/ Canned Food Donation
21+
Dirty Santa, Holiday gag gifts and more!
MaM headlines this show!
Go listen to some tunes at myspace
and get geared up!

www.myspace.com/milkatmidnight
www.milkatmidnight.com

2006-11-24T10:20:00.000-08:00

Turkey, Beer, and Football

2006-11-22T13:53:00.000-08:00

It's a great holiday, Thanksgiving. Walking down the hall just now I thought to myself, a lot of turkeys will be fisted tomorrow. My brain is something. Yeah.

Me last Thanksgiving:

A couple hours earlier. Awake, bearded, full, and drunk. WHOOP!

Happy Turkey Day!

"Even my grandma loves to get high!"

2006-11-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

Original Experimental Sebadoh To Reunite For Tour

By: Spacelab Research Staff
Or as Lou Barlow calls it: Sebadoh Classic. That means the lineup of the estranged Eric Gaffney, Lou Barlow, and Jason Lowenstein. Wow. The most experimental of Sebadoh lineups is gettin' the band back together for a set of tour dates that start at the end of February and go until the beginning of April. This also follows on the heels of this summer's rerelease of Sebadoh III and Eric Gaffney's recent release of Uncharted Waters.

That would of course give them a chance to launch the tour with a gig at the Noise Pop music festival, which recently announced 2007 dates that strangely sync up with the beginning of the Sebadoh tour. Of course, I have no idea of what I'm talking about, as there's no confirmation of this... but hey - Sebadoh and Noise Pop are like two peas in the same pod.

As for now, this all comes from a little blurb on Lou Barlow's website, where he said "So here's some news: Sebadoh Classic will be touring this spring 2/25/07 - 4/07. Sebadoh Classic = Gaffney-era... III Bubble and Scrape. Eric, Jason, and I will be heading out together..."

That's all for now, but tour dates will be soon made available.

The Celebration of the Lizard

2006-09-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

Had The Doors on me brain riding the train this morn. I couldn't be happier with any other music selection while working this morning. Thank you.

Lions in the street & roaming
Dogs in heat, rabid, foaming
A beast caged in the heart of a city
The body of his mother
Rotting in the summer ground.
He fled the town.

He went down South
And crossed the border
Left the chaos & disorder
Back there
Over his shoulder.

One morning he awoke in a green hotel
With a strange creature groaning beside him.
Sweat oozed from its shiny skin.

Dream(banana bugs)

2006-09-25T17:10:00.000-07:00

So, I played hooky on Friday. Took a Rick Day I did. The W left my place at 7:45 AM and I proceeded to call into work and then went back to sleep. I was in a heavy sleep. I had a dream. Danny Doom was there in the dream. We were at my apartment. He was spinning REM records. That was all he cared about. Old REM records. Suddenly I saw a long yellow bug with brown and black stripes. It was big. I stepped on it. A few minutes later there were a couple more. I stepped on them. They looked dead for a minute and then got up and just kept on walking. What the hell! Then there was a little brown bug hovering in front of my face like a sweat bee. I would shoo it away and it would be right back there again a second later. Then there were more, and more, and more long yellow bugs crawling on the floor. Danny was still spinning REM records. Suddenly The W was there in the dream and in my apartment. I told her about the bugs, which for some reason she couldn't see, and she said, "Oh yeah, those are banana bugs." I said, "What the hell are banana bugs and why do I have them?!!! She just responded again with "Oh yeah, those are banana bugs. What you have there are banana bugs." I know they are banana bugs, but....!!" I said when suddenly Danny interrupts to ask me why my stereo sounds the way it does. It doesn't sound like his and he has a problem with it. He just doesn't understand this. I say, "I don't know! Jeez, can't you see I have a major banana bug crisis here??" He just goes back to picking out records and shaking his head. The W is still there just repeating the same thing, "Oh yeah, those are banana bugs. That's what you have there. Banana bugs." WHAT IN THE!!!!.....................

Suddenly I'm awake. The W knows I had decided to take a Rick Day and has decided to take a W Day as well and come back over. She wakes me with McDonalds. Phew.. No more banana bugs. I don't like banana bugs.

Ya know

2006-09-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

Screw making an honest living. Where has it got me? We'll do it the old fashioned way. Let's just lie, cheat, and steal!

*EARLY PRESS RELEASE

2006-09-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

Get MaM Back in the Van!

Chicago, IL September 14, 2006 -This was a strange summer in MaM's world. Things didn't really go as planned, but then, they never seem to anyway. After getting out-text-messaged in the Lollapalooza Debacle, we got back in the van and moved on, but only for a couple of days. In late July our van was vandalized on a quiet Logan Square street, windows smashed and tires slashed, and some nifty spray-painted symbols on the side too! We thought our gang-banging days were long over...

Weirdly, they were not finished. A week or so later the vandals returned (we can only assume they were the same gentlemen) and set the van on fire. Yes, they set it on fire. The MaM Van was reduced to a smoldering blackened hunk of shit. Needless to say, we wouldn't be using it to get to shows anymore. Luckily, our equipment was safely stored at the practice space, so we recognize that this could have been a lot worse.

Anyway, we've decided to throw a little memorial -- no, a party -- well, it's kind of like a party to memorialize the van and -- shit, we need some cash! We'd like to get another van and keep rockin,' but we thought we would have a little fund-raiser to go towards the cause. Ah, enough of me babblin,' here's what we're doing!

Wednesday September 27 at The Pontiac 1531 N.
Damen
Get MaM Back in the Van!
w/friends
Farewell Captain and Skid Marks playing stripped
down sets
and a full-on rock show by Milk at Midnight!
Other acts may be added to this bill as well...

$5 - $10 suggested donation

Thanks for all your kind words, we'll see you there!

The Pontiac is located at 1531 N. Damen, Chicago, IL (773. 252.7767)
Thanks for all your kind words, we'll see you there!

Occupation Motivation

2006-09-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to become a ditch digger. Since I'm always waking up in them, I figure I might as well make my own bed if I'm going to lie in it. Thank you. Now, where did those pesky fish throwing kids go?

Evel Knievel Crossing

2006-09-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

Shelob's Lair

2006-08-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

For at least 2 weeks now, just outside and to the left of my front door when stepping outside, there has been a giant and quite impressive spider's web occupied by a mighty large spider I've named Shelob. The web is a complete circle and could probably wrap around half of my body. It's connected between the neighbors fence and the frame of my front door. I've had no intention, nor the heart to destroy it.
1. Because it's so impressive and must have taken some work to make.
2. Because Shelob has done me no harm.
3. Fear of what she would do to me if I did destroy it.

I came home from work yesterday and someone had ripped down a note I left for my mail delivery person from the front door, but Shelob's web was still there and had survived all rain. This morning, as I left for work I looked to my left as soon as I walked out the door, and Shelob's web was gone. Sorry Shelob. Hopefully you found a new lair to devour insects, orcs, dwarfs, hobbits, and men. Know that I was trying to protect you, so don't come back and eat me.

Words

2006-08-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

"Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit."

Edward R. Murrow

2006-08-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

Hello Blog; It's Me

2006-08-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while and no I have not forgotten about you; I've just been, well, ya know. And I don't have much to say except that Mike from that bar on Damen Ave. in Wicker Park that people like to go to makes a strong drink and my head is still spinning and I woke up late and walked home without sunglasses and I ate cottage cheese and I didn't shower and I fell asleep on the train and almost missed me stop and I bought a breakfast sandwich but before that I bought a strawberries and cream Frappucino and I've mentioned my head is spinning but it also hurts and I've had another cup of coffee and it hasn't helped and I think The W is still sleeping and my brain hurts and I like beer but I don't want one and I'll probably have more coffee so I can be wide awake and drunk and Cowpie and Seven are my pussies and I smoked a lot and I'm stuffed up in my right nose and sometimes I don't like things and today is Bukowski's birthday and so I should stay drunk and Elvis died on this day on the toilet and I remember being in the car in the back seat with my sister and my Mom was driving and we were shopping for my Dad's birthday, which is tomorrow, and the news came on the radio and my Mom had to pull over to cry for a long time and sis and I were scared and oh yeah, you should go to this on Friday:

This Friday August 18 come out to
The Note, 1565 N. Milwaukee Ave.
MpShows and Tankboy present...

Milk at Midnight
with The Assembly, Farewell Captain
and Trapper Keeper
Show is at 9pm, $7, 21+
MaM headlines

Check out new tunes at MilkSpace!

Days

2006-07-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Wiped Out Wednesday. Today is certainly Thirsty Thursday. Take a look outside Chicago. At least tomorrow is Fist Pumping Friday.

Last night I drank 16 beers while bowling. I bowled OK. Definitely have bowled better. Fun was had though.

I'm a little frustrated. I managed, well I guess purposly, to stay single for 2 years and just go on dates and hang casually with girls and not take anything too seriously. I guess I'm in a relationship now. I guess we've been exclusive for like a wopping 2 weeks after months of flirting and playfulness and now we are already fighting majorly over something I think is ridiculously stupid. Well, I take that back, over something that has been blown way out of proportion, and now I'm saying to myself, single wasn't all that bad. I had it pretty good there, didn't I? Ahh, maybe I will feel different tomorrow. The grass is always greener on the other side they say.

Thank You

2006-07-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

Well, we got bumped from the contest last night. It was a good run though. I want to sincerely thank everyone who voted to get us into the second and third round, and posted blogs, bulletins, texted your little fingers off last night, and an extra special thanks to those of you who drove out in the bad traffic to Palatine last night to cheer us on and watch us play. I truly feel loved and it leaves a good feeling in my heart. Thank you very very much to all of you. Kisses.

With this contest now gone I will go back with my original plan and attend the Lollapalooza concert as a spectator and music lover. We'll be playing a show later in August in Wicker Park with 3 other great bands and friends. More details to come. Cheers!!

I promised details; I got yer details here

2006-07-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

I copied this straight from the Doom though. So, some of these are his words. Details:

OK, here's the deal: Milk at Midnight will be playing next Tuesday July 18th at Durty Nellie's, 180 N. Smith St. in Palatine! It's from 8-11pm and the crowd will vote via text messaging for the winner. We'll need all the help we can from your nimble fingers! And also, you can go over to the Milkspace and listen to some tunes.

8-8:30pm THE SLEEPERS
9-9:30pm MILK AT MIDNIGHT
10-10:30pm A BIRDSONG VALENTINE
10:30-11:30p TEXT MESSAGE VOTING
9AM Winner posted on Q101.com

RULES FOR TEXT VOTING-Voting will begin when final band finishes their set.-Text the band name of who you think should win to 99161. -Voting will be open for 1 hour. -The band with the most votes will be posted on Q101.com at 9AM.

In case this isn't clear, anyone can text-message, even if you're not there, so that means you in Michigan and you in Denver and you in Australia can vote too! But if you can, come on out to P-Town and enjoy the fun. I'm still studying the map trying to figure out where Palatine is. Durty Nellie's is the place. Do it!

And I say, let's win this thing. We've come this far. Let's go for the gold!!!

HOT DAMN!

2006-07-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

Milk At Midnight moves on to Round 3 baby! Thanks to everyone who voted everyday. We would not be this far with out ya. More details to come. WHOOP!

Thanks Baby!

2006-07-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

My friend Joey was nice enough to let me ride her bike home last night so I didn't have to walk, bus, or cab home. It's an old, big, pink bike with a basket in front and a bell. It sort of looks like this.

Thinking, I'm so going to get beat up, I decided to ham it up. I put on the shades and rang the bell, waved, and yelled to everyone I passed. One woman said I scared the hell out of her. Ding ding, whoop!! Another person yelled "SWEET RIDE!" I pulled up to the window at the gas station and asked for a pack of cigarettes. Just like in the movies. He asked me "what kind?", and I said, "what do you mean?" We worked it out, I handed him the cash and said "thanks baby!" He smiled nervously and I was off and running again. I felt like Pee Wee Herman on my bike journey. Today I am tired.

The Doom and the Yellow Man

2006-06-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

A couple weekends ago I was hanging at the May Fest in Lincoln Square for many, many hours with the Flynn Flam, The Doom, The Bill, The Steph, and The EriK. We had consumed many of the very large beers and were in the tent ordering another when The Flynn Flam and myself saw a yellow man walk by. The Flynn Flam said "Hey, it's Yellow Man" and I yelled out "HOT DAMN, IT IS A YELLOW MAN!! Let's follow him." The Flynn Flam and The Doom followed. It was very crowed in the tent and we had to push and swim our way through, but we eventually caught up with him. I said, "Hey, you're a yellow man!" He agreed that he was indeed a yellow man and handed me his card. Sure enough he had a Yellowman card. Performance Artist, Wedding Minister, Promotions, DJ, Bartender, and Free Pedicab Rides. The Yellowman does it all. I asked to take his picture and he said "sure." I told The Doom to join in. The Yellowman was just as intoxicated as the rest of us and a good sport.

When the May Fest was over the rest of our gang went on its merry way, but The Flynn Flam and I carried on. We walked down "Western Ave. stopping in different bars on the way to Celtic Crown and then back down Western Ave. towards where we originally started out hitting different bars all the way back. We ran into the Yellowman again at one of them and had a drink with him and were told to come back again real soon. The bar was changing its whole style and the Yellowman was going to be spinning anything we wanted to hear. "Ok, well we'll try, Yellowman."

I was with The Flynn Flam and saw the Yellowman this last Saturday afternoon outside selling boas on Halsted St. and said "HEY YELLOWMAN!" Yellowman gave me the deer in headlights stare. He didn't remember us.

Ok, time for dinner
but it smells like cat poop
so it's time to scoop.
WHOOP!

Thom Yorke's Response to

2006-06-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

The alleged presence of one of President Bush's twin daughters at a Radiohead concert at Madison Square Garden in New York last week:

"I don't know whether we should be A. honored; B. amused; C. bemused; D. ask if she had a valid ticket; E. object belatedly on moral grounds; F. ask again if she had a ticket and question whether this [is] really what our gigs are about; G. don't blame the daughter for the father; H. shut up and smile."

In a post to the band's blog, "Dead Air Space," Yorke wrote that the concert was interrupted for several fans thanks to six Secret Service agents who Yorke was later told had cleared a path for the first daughter's exit and "manhandled ... some poor soul."

KEEP PUMPING THAT FRIDAY FIST!

2006-06-16T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's here again. I haven't posted anything here since last Fist Pumping Friday. I stole this from http://dannydoom.com/:

"MaM Update
Okay, we're doing alright but we need more! At this writing Milk at Midnight is at 26, which is awesome, but we need constant vigilance and diligence and all of that. It's a marathon, not a sprint! But run fast anyway. Some of these bastards are playing dirty no doubt, so we need all the dead voters we can. Thanks for your continued efforts!"

I realise I haven't mentioned anything about this here though, have I? Well, the deal is Milk At Midnight is trying to play Lollapalooza. You can go to that link up there and vote for us. You can do it once every 24 hours. The voting goes until June 3oth. You can use as many e-mail accounts as you would like. So, my pledge to you is to PUMP THOSE FRIDAY FISTS and slam down your vote and if we're still in this at the end we'll all be so FIST PUMPING FLIPPIN HAPPY that, well words won't even be able to express how happy. YEAH!!

Please Tell Your Co-workers

2006-06-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

It has been decided that today is Fist Pumping Friday. It has also been decided that the anthem for Fist Pumping Friday is Everybody's Working For The Weekend by Loverboy. That's right, sing loud, and sing it proud. Fist Pumping Friday is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Behold the Sausage Masters

2006-06-05T19:20:00.000-07:00

These guys know what they're doing.

Pure Flattery If You Ask Me

2006-05-31T21:44:00.000-07:00

What you should do tonight if in Chicago

2006-05-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

First, what you should do is click here.

See. That was fun, right? Make no mistake. Strike that. I sound like a certain President there. I'm telling ya though, this really is where you should be tonight. Ok, I'm in a very strange mood today. Gettin all Goddamnit on myself! Should be a fun night!!

Now, here's a Tiger-leg Monkey Frog:

Round 1 Opens the Eyes

2006-05-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

Round 2 brings out the personality. What would I do without coffee?

This morning my blurry eyes woke to a lump of cat to left of my feet and a lump of cat to right of my feet. I yelled out "Good morning feet potatoes!" They looked happy.

It's struggle this morning. I didn't stay out too late last night, but ended up late anyway. The war with the neighbors was on again last night. I live next door to a real nutball. A real serious wacko! But I won't get into it much here. Anyway, she's always fighting with the girls in the apartment below her. Around 7:00 last night the pounding, door slamming, yelling and making fake sex sounds out the window started, and I just thought to myself, I'm glad I'm heading out soon and won't be here most of the night. Hopefully I'll be inebriated enough when I get home to just pass out and not hear anything.

Remembering the war would probably still be going on, I popped back a shot of Jameson before leaving Pontiac and hopped in the MaM Magik Van for a spin home. No such luck. The shot woke me up. The war was still on. The police showed up again. I heard the officer outside say "the same old fucking bullshit again." They spend a lot of time at the building these days I believe. Finally I crashed between 2:00 and 3:00 AM. ZZZ...ZZZZZZ....

Today's calender quote is:

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."
-Johann Von Goethe-

I haven't been paying as much attention to ye ole quote calender as of late, but today's is a good one.

Ok, round 2 is down and I believe it is case where it's a cup for an eye this morning. Let's hope round 3 puts a little spunk in my funk.

On a side note, I was just sending an adminstrator an e-mail to let her know I had set her up with access to some databases. For some reason I thought of the movie Cable Guy and I damn near typed IN THE E-MAIL, "The password is NIPPLE." Sheesh! Ok, round 3 coming up!

HORSE

2006-05-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

Coworker just made the sound you get when you keep your lips together and blow hard enough to make them flap and vibrate. Immediately following the sound he simply said the word "HORSE." I turned around and looked at him as he simply kept typing numbers with a blank look on his face. Hmmm. I turned back around, chuckled and continued typing. Another coworker just informed me that her brefast made her lazy. Not her BREAKfast, but her BREfast. Ahh, people are funny. Everyone is a character.

Anyway, good morning wiggleworms! It's been a week of good rock shows it seems. I've missed 2 already I would have liked to have attended. 1 being Wolfmother at Metro last night. I'm not sweating it too much though. I saw them at the Bottle a couple months ago. They were amazing and I'm sure they were last night as well. They'll be at Lolla this summer though, so I'm not sweating it.

I do regret not going to see Pearl Jam at the United Center. I've read the Vedder hating Dero review and Danny's review. After the show I saw a few summers ago at Alpine Valley, I believe http://dannydoom.com/.

Tonight, this man is in town.

Chicago has been long overdue for a Greg Dulli visit. I've very much been looking forward to this show. Now that the club is smoke free I wonder what Greg will do. I wonder how I'll handle not being able to chain smoke while getting my drink on and taking in the soothing songs of sex, drug abuse, and love gone wrong. I'm sure I'll survive. Tonight's Twilight Singers show is at Metro.

CHEERS!!

2006-05-17T01:55:00.000-07:00

Looking towards downtown from my usual spot at the front of the Western Ave. El platform. I wonder what kind of day tomorrow will be. Technically it is already tomorrow, but there hasn't been sleep yet, so it's not tomorrow.

Gunshots were just fired 20 minutes ago right out front. As I sit at the keyboard in front of the window, Cowpie and Seven next to me, our hearts thump heavily. 3 shots. POW!! POW !! POW!! 1 shot. POW!!! Squealing tires and distorted yelling. Then nothing. Each Winter I start to believe this hood is slightly less ghetto, but each Spring I am quickly reminded of how much it still is. The fucked up thing is I'm glad it still is. Something oddly comforting about it.

Well, good night city. Good night ghetto. Good night Tuesday night drinkers walking out of last called 2:00 AM bars. Good night shopping cart pushers. Good night street walkers. Good night stray cats and dogs. Good night dreamers. Good night street brawlers. Good night lovers. Good night somersaulters. Until next time...

Be Afraid

2006-05-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

Be very afraid.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/drkfiber/146982862/

Trenchtown Rock

2006-05-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

I'm at work and it's Saturday. Upon arriving this morning I called up Darkfiber and asked, "What the fuck should I listen to? ANSWER ME GODDAMNIT!!" He replied "BOB MARLEY!" And so I am and so it's quite enjoyable and so I'm in a good mood and so that is good and so there you have it. "One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain." You're quite right Mr. Marley. Thank you. Thank me. Thank everyone.

2006-05-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

HOT DAMN! What else can I find?

BUTT CHICKEN FACE!!

2006-05-08T13:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, you would have had to have been in Dayton Saturday to understand that title. I won't try and explain; it's simply there for my own personal amusement.

It's difficult getting back into the swing of being at work. We only played 2 shows, but it was quite an action packed adventurous weekend and reassured me of how much I love going out of town and playing. We were all left feeling as we drove back to Chicago yesterday that it went so quick and we wished we were staying out and playing longer. "We're just gettin warmed up!" Soon enough though. Soon enough. Danny posted a mini tour diary over at http://www.myspace.com/milkatmidnight

Anyway. WHOOP!

Ceiling Fan In My Spoon

2006-05-05T11:48:00.000-07:00

As Milk At Midnight is about to take off on our World Tour, I'd like to say Happy Cinco De Mayo, and CHEERS!! Ha ha!! Seriously though, we're heading to Indianapolis in a few hours to play the Melody Inn, also known as The Mel I learned last weekend. Tomorrow night we're hitting Dayton, OH to play with our buddy Billy Catfish and his band The Lonesome Tumblers. Have fun this weekend and try not to do anything I WOULD do. I'll be taking the Tiger Monkey Army with me this weekend, but I'll leave you with the Monkey Chickens. Please be fair to them. Thanks!

Cowpie in my Dreams

2006-05-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

My cat Cowpie does this thing, often when I get home after work, or when I first get up in the morning and start walking around. He sprints ahead of me, stops and turns around, his eyes get really big, his furr poofs out, his butt wiggles a little, he digs into the carpet, and then he takes off! VRROOOM!!! As he goes darting away often there are high pitched meow sounds to go with the sprint.

I was dreaming right before getting up this morning and Cowpie was in the dream. In the dream I was bikeriding and Cowpie was running ahead of me. Everytime I would get close to him he would go through that whole routine I just explained. VRROOOM!!! "MEOW OW WOW!!" Well, I woke giggling and sure enough, he was there in bed next to me and when I got up to turn the alarm off he launched off the bed. VRROOM!!! Thank you Cowpie. Thanks for making me smile.

There was a whole self-deprecating second part to this blog about drinking and benders and being less than impressive, but then I decided it was nonsense. Happy Tuesday. Should be a 3 day work week for me. I didn't come in yesterday and most likely will take a whole instead of halfday on Friday. VRROOOMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Might as well JUMP!

2006-04-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

Darkfiber says "I have Van Halen's Dancing the night away running though my head. We should drop acid and go dancing."

And I say "Yes, but only to the music of Van Halen."

Mr. Rick Was Tired

2006-04-26T12:06:00.000-07:00

Last night I didn't go out. I didn't stay up late. I had not a drop to drink. This morning when the alarm went off at 6:30 I got up and hit what I thought was snooze and went back to bed. I woke again out of a heavy sleep thinking, gosh, this feels too good. What's wrong here? Sure enough it was 9:00. How the hell did that happen? I'm now finishing my 3rd cup of coffee, I've had a donut, and some chocolate, and I'm STILL groggy. Mr. Rick was tired.

Stubborn or Stupid?

2006-04-25T11:43:00.000-07:00

When it's the end of April and it's been in the 70's, and then drops to the 30's, I just can't bring myself to put the winter coat back on. I just won't. This morning was no different. I put an extra sweater on and my leather jacket. I walked down Western Ave. God Damnitting it a whole lot and by the time I reached the El stop my umbrella was ripped and I could barely feel my hands. Still, I'm not going to dress for winter because it's not winter. Stuborn or stupid? Both I suppose.

I've been trying to find online this picture someone gave me a printed copy of yesterday and I have hanging next to my PC. It's a Gary Larson drawing of Daffy Duck typing up his resume, and it's really funny. At least it is to me. Well, here's the resume at least:

EXPERIENCE

Aug '63 - Nov '67:
Jumped around a lot and went
"woohoo, woohoo, woohoo!"

Jan. '68 - Sept. '83:
Jumped around a lot and went
"woohoo, woohoo, woohoo!"

Oct. '84 - present:
After short stint in politics, jumped
around a lot and went, "woohoo, woohoo!"

SPECIAL SKILLS: Can be blown away by
shotgun at close range without dying

Jumped around a lot

I'm going to pass this information on to you

2006-04-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

Just so you don't make the same mistake as I. Although it seemed like a good idea and a sure fire way to wake up on Monday morning, skinny dipping in the deep fryer was NOT a good idea. Don't do it.

New Products

2006-04-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

I've been using Big Boob Cream. See over there in that picture on the right. It doesn't work so well for the bedhead though.

Also, I told my coworkers today that I have been using a new whiskey scented shampoo and that is why I've come in here a few times smelling like whiskey. They asked how long I've been using it and I said "Oh, for a few weeks." They said that there has been a peculiar scent coming from me for much longer than a few weeks though. I then explained that I've been using a beer scented soap for years. "Oh I see. Good for you!"

"Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen"

2006-04-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

"We're the Ladies & Gentleman. This next song is called 'I Wanna Thank You' and it's about thanking someone."

I checked out Skid's set at Kinetic Playground last night. They did an after the Franz Ferdinand/ Death Cab party show across the street from Aragon Ballroom. Besides the right side speaker of the PA going in and out for most of the second half of the set, they sounded great. Quite an interesting crowd in there too. There were a lot of very drunk people. When I was leaving I saw 2 very drunk guys fight in front of the club while another very drunk guy watched. It ended with one of the guys going down and cracking his head very hard on the concrete of the side of the building. The guy was having a very hard time walking afterwards and his drunk friend, who was in no condition to take care of him, stood there stupified. They eventually zig zagged down the sidewalk through some very thick apple sauce.

I realised today that Seven has been living with us for a year now. April 17th to be exact. Cowpie and I have enjoyed having ya around little buddy. You're good little dude.

I didn't drink all that much last night, but I feel like I did today. Could just be the staying up until 3:00 AM. Besides the flanger, we may have to throw in a little analog delay and wah wah pedal to help move this day along smoothly.

Let's end this with some words from Metric; a band I've been digging a whole lot lately:

Satisfy myself
Avoid beginners
Who long to shut my mouth
Till I take one of them home
'Cause I know how it feels
Filling in the blanks
Looking on the bright side
When there is no bright side
Coming in your pants
For the off chance
With a poster of a girl

Hey!

2006-04-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

In the words of Drkfiber, "When in doubt, use a flanger!" Whoop!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flanging

POst Post PosT

2006-04-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."

—Douglas Adams
Mostly Harmless, 1992

For lunch I went to Potbelly. I had a tuna sub, not because I was raised Catholic, but because I wanted one. When I went to pay for it the woman at the counter asked me what I was reading. I said "The Russian Revolution." She said "Never heard of it." I quickly responded, "But you've heard of the revolution, right?" She laughed nervously and said nothing. Very strange. I then sat outside and ate and watched a very unenthusiastic protest march by. Now I am working and I am still tired.

HAIR METAL IS MY SAVIOUR

2006-04-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

At least it has been at work. All last week I listened to hair metal and was in a relatively pleasant mood and got a lot of work done. Dokken, Def Leppard, Cinderella, White Lion, Skid Row, Bon Jovi, Poison, Motley Crue, Ratt, KISS, Queensryche, L.A. Guns,etc…

This morning I think, as they say, I woke on the wrong side of the bed, and the mood just progressed on the commute in. I was running a little late and the first thing said to me when I walked in was “oh, are you here now?” Spitting venom I practically ripped his head off. “YOU’RE LOOKING AT ME, AREN’T YOU? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M HERE??!!! THEN I’M OBVIOUSLY HERE!!!!!!” There was definitely a look of fear in his eyes and probably a feeling of embarrassment for asking such a dumb question. Whoa, down boy; easy tiger.

After grabbing breakfast and a cup of coffee I threw on a little Long Cold Winter by Cinderella and pretty soon I’m smiling again and in a much better mood. Thank you, Cinderella. Poor Danny, he’s about to go on tour with a couple revived hair metal heads.

Here’s a fun little memory brought on by listening to Cinderella. I’ve known $in since high school. We first met in a class called Music Unlimited. Pretty much any kid who played an instrument took the class. Everyone got an A just for taking the class. The majority of the class were guitar players; $in being one of them. We got to bring our instruments in one day. I can’t remember what the assignment was. There were some kids that were much better than others. $in was sitting in with a couple other guitar players. These were probably the best guitarists in the school. $in was not one of the best guitarists in the school. These guys were playing Stevie Ray Vaugn and Jimi Hendrix and doing some really impressive stuff. The circle would come around to $in and he would start playing the opening riff to Gypsy Road. He would get as far as the first 2 or 3 notes, stop, look confused, and start tuning his guitar. This must have happened about 5 or 6 times; each time with him looking a bit more nervous and uncomfortable. Poor $in, I’m sure he’s still haunted by this memory, but the vision still cracks me up.

I hear Drkfiber is across the street from me today. I’m going to go throw pickles at him.

2006-04-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

The Banshee Screams for Buffalo Meat.

Good thing I get off one stop before or this could have been me

2006-04-07T09:01:00.000-07:00

CTA escalator accident; injuries reported
Tribune staff report
Published April 7, 2006, 8:43 AM CDT

At least three people were reported injured in an escalator accident at the Chicago Transit Authority's Blue Line station at Jackson and Dearborn Streets in the Loop, authorities said.

Fire department spokesman Will Knight said the up escalator suddenly reversed direction, causing three commuters to fall off. He said they suffered minor injuries and were taken to area hospitals.

I saw the ambulance while walking down Dearborn this morning and wondered. The escalator wasn't working at Monroe this morning either. I wonder if they turned them all off. Anyway, won't you come:

04.08.06 (Saturday!)
Tankboy Presents these hot shit bands...

Elbo Room
2871 N. Lincoln Ave.

Venom Lords (10pm)
Miranda Sound (11pm)
MaM (at Midnight!)
$7 / 21+

click here.

Bolsheviks

2006-04-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

Just noticed a paper clip was stuck to my shirt.

You are an assface utchmynitz.

Yes, I know.

Why don't you stick a crayon in your ear.

I'd prefer not to.

You are a smelly hamster.

Thank you. I am not a proletarian, nor am I a communist.

You like things.

This is true.

Jet-Lagged

2006-04-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

They went and changed the clocks over the weekend. Moved em forward. Lost me an hour, I did. I will be jet-lagged for months. The best thing for me to do in this situation is to every once in a while do a somersault, or cartwheel, shout "whoop!", drink a beer, turn the stereo up, ride the bike, go swimming, or kick a can. This will not cure the jet-lag, but it will provide temporary amusement making me forget for a minute or 2 that I am tired.

The Cough conveniently walked over to my desk at 5 to 5:00 yesterday to tell me that she sent me an e-mail of something I had to do before I left last night. Let the fun begin. I say conveniently because I had to be up at Metro at 5:30 to meet a girl who I was buying a Strokes ticket from. I was late of course. It all worked out fine though.

I've been spending a lot of money on live music. I never ever feel bad about spending money on live music.

My cousin has been living in Telluride, Colorado for almost a year now. He sent me a picture of downtown last night.

Looks nice, doesn't it? I sure do like it out west.

Spent most of the weekend with my sister, nephew, mom, and step father. It was a good weekend and the nicest time I've had with my sis in at least 2 years. Probably longer. She's come a long way and I'm really proud of her. I hope I didn't just jinx it.

Gonna play a show this weekend with 2 bands I like a lot. More on that later.

I've been trying to avoid eating anything purple and drinking anything grey. So far it's worked out well for me.

I am not a smelly pirate hooker.

Thanks.

oh yes

2006-03-30T20:38:00.000-08:00

there are worse things than

being alone

but it often takes decades

to realize this and most often

when you do

it's too late

and there's nothing worse

than

too late.

-Charles Bukowski

When Opportunity Comes Knocking

2006-03-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF BURT JOHNSON

By N. Ritz

I quit my position at Bob's Stubs & Subs last week. I got real sick of Sally(nicknamed The Claw) always stealing Bob's cockrings and throwing them in the deep fryer, which I was in charge of, and then blaming it on me. I know Bob didn't really believe it was me, but Bob really wants to fuck Sally, so he would use the opportunity to flirt with her and show off his manliness by chewing me out and humiliating me while she stood there giggling.

Ray's Sloppy Seconds had a position open so on Friday I didn't even give a 2 week notice. I finished my shift and said "I quit. Good luck fuckers!"

I started at Ray's yesterday. Right now from 6AM to 8AM he has me pouring BBQ sauce from a very large tub into small squeezable bottles. From 8 to 12 I chop vegetables and slice meat. I get a 15 minute break and then I take inventory of all the waste while separating the usable and unusable. The work is challenging and the pay is the same, but it sure beats the hell out of that bitch fucking with me and trying to get me fired everyday. With hard work and dedication I hope to be promoted soon to head cashier. Wish me luck.

Burt Johnson

Pony Express Record

2006-03-28T11:46:00.000-08:00

Such an evil album. Such a great album. In heavy rotation this morning.

A big step forward

2006-03-26T16:30:00.000-08:00

I've been following this case. http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2006-03-26-christian-covert_x.htm?csp=24

I'm very glad to hear that it has been dismissed, but this guy will seriously have to go into something equivalent to the Witness Protection Program if he stands any chance of having some sort of life. Pretty fucked up, but again, a big step foward.

DON'T PANIC

2006-03-25T14:14:00.000-08:00

Some fatheads were scheduled to walk through the building I live in at 11:30 this morning. Since they were nice enough to let me know in advance, I decided, instead of sitting in my underwear with a pickle in my ear while they walked through, I would have it my way, and took myself to Burger King where I enjoyed a chicken sandwich, side salad and a Dr. Pepper. If you are bored on Saturday afternoon you can always go sit in the BK on North Avenue across from Humboldt Park. They've got everything: thugs, homeless men, fights, the police, vibrating children, screaming silly men, oompa loompas, and purple elephants. That's entertainment.

DON'T PANIC." - Words inscribed in large, friendly letters on front cover of The Hitchhiker's Guide

"Space," it says, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindboggingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galazy is one of my all time favorite series of books. Douglas Adams was brilliant. Even though the special effects are not that hot, I loved the BBC series as well. A motion picture of the first book was made a year ago. I didn't go see it. I was unsure about it. I rented it a couple weeks ago and last Sunday I thought it would be a good movie to watch. I fell asleep 3 times trying to watch it. That's not a good sign. I've hung on to it though thinking I'd try again when I'm not out of it like I was that day. Since our mixing session has been canceled today, I think I might try it again. I'll be honest though, I don't have high expectations. I've purchased beer to enhance the experience. It's too early in the day to have my "brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick" from the effects of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Maybe later.

Thanks to all who came out to Mutiny last night and supported. You're beautiful and I love you. Hope you had fun. I sure did. Cheers!!

Brain Fart

2006-03-24T11:16:00.000-08:00

Holy monkey chicken! So, all night last night I talked, laughed, danced, and gave cigarettes to a girl who I thought was someone else. And looking back now I can't believe I thought she was that person. When I realised my mistake at the end of the night I laughed and laughed and laughed uncontrollably. I'm still laughing. The girl never suspected that I thought she was someone else, but I did go as far as to say to her boyfriend at the end of the night "When did you guys start hanging out again?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! At that moment as I heard the words come out of my mouth is where I realised my flaw. Jeez, I think it's time to switch to Sanka!

Lots of fun last night at Darkroom with Greatest Hits, Bon Mots, and Ladies and Gentleman. The night ended with Chris from Innjoy and myself breaking up a fist fight on Chicago Ave over politics. I only got hit once and then the Darkroom staff took over.

Anyway, if you're looking for something to do tonight, here ya go:

South of North presents...
Milk at Midnight at The Mutiny
2428 Western Ave. (home of the world's largest urinal)
9pm or so

FREE!w/America's #1 Sweetheart
TrapperKeeper
The Broke Players
(MaM plays last)

As Tom says:a south of north event. as usual, completely free. free music, free pool, free darts, free golf, free laughs and cheap drinks. if you ask nicely and i've had enough beer, i'll even give you a free ... on second thought, never mind.

p.s.- look for new stuff soon from MaM, songs, videos, fancy emails and fish heads.

bored? why not be our friend on my space! it'll get you through the work day!

tired? go to bed!

Father Slurron and the Church of Intoxication

2006-03-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

The father was definitely representing this weekend. He doesn't feel so hot today. There was a very stinky homeless man on the train this morning and the Father very nearly tossed his cookies all over him.

Saw The Cult on Friday. It was a kick ass show. They sounded great. I'm glad I finally got to see them. Caught the last set of Tangleweed up at Cary's Lounge afterwards. They kicked ass as well. Saturday there was a birthday party at Lincoln Tap Room. If you paid $35 you got to drink all that you could from 7:00 to 11:00. I did. Then closed Beachwood. Then went to a mini after hours party. Yesterday was a day of worship as well. Oh my oh my. Today will be a day of rest. Unfortunately I have to get through a day of work first.

The Blizzard of 06

2006-03-17T09:45:00.000-08:00

Wow! We got clobbered here in Chicago! I can't believe how much it snowed. The snow plow crew really had their work cut out for them I tell ya. I'm surprised all of us made it to work this morning with all the drifts we had to climb over. I'm exhausted. Sarcasm off. A slight dusting.

Today is St. Patrick's Day. Is it true that everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day? I once told someone I was born again Irish. Ha ha! I really have a taste for Baileys right now actually. Do you think they'd let it slide if I whipped myself up a little Irish coffee to go along with my work this morning? Well yes, of course they would. They loved my suggestion of coming into work completely shitfaced. Remember?

I haven't been drunk all week. I'll probably get drunk tonight. Cheers! Slainte! Hiccup!!

This is one hell of an awesome line up!!

2006-03-16T08:20:00.000-08:00

http://metromix.chicagotribune.com/music/326754,0,888936.event?coll=mmx-home_bottom_hedsh2o

Wichita Lineman

2006-03-15T11:54:00.000-08:00

I've listened to like 6 or 7 versions of it this morning. All great. Glen Campbell, Johnny Cash, Friends of Dean Martinez, REM, and of course the original. Ok, maybe 5 versions, but some of them I've listened to more than once. For some reason I can't get enough of it this morning.

Thanks for stopping by,

Utch

Ask The Dust

2006-03-13T16:17:00.000-08:00

http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2006/03/10/fante/ John Fante is one of my favorite writers. I only learned of his writing from a Mr. Hank Chinaski aka Charles Bukowski. I'm looking forward to the movie version of Ask The Dust, but also am nervous about it. I hope it's done right.

This has been the longest work day ever. 4:17. We're on the home stretch now baby! "Don't call me Son of a Bitch, I'm Arturo Bandini!"

How was the weekend?

2006-03-13T09:13:00.000-08:00

Well, the weekend was good!

Stuff

2006-03-10T00:04:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: Corn Flakes. Milk. Coffee

Friday

Last book read: The Jungle - Upton Sinclair

Currently reading: The Communist Manifesto - Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels

Lunch: salami and cheddar cheese

Quote: "The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." —Sir Winston Churchill

Currently listening to: Rush - Power Windows

Work: Caught up

Beer: Yes, please!

Netflix at home: Chicago: City of the Century - discs 1 and 2

Dinner: ?

Weekend: Sing, dance, record, beer, parade, party, rain, 60 degrees, friends, fiends...

Stuff

Someone here at work just said, after putting a letter through a paper folding machine, "I don't understand; it went in fine and came out the other side all funky." Yes, such as is the case with most things. We're born into this world pure and innocent and clean and once passed through the machine of life we come out the other end funky, distorted, and damaged.

End of an era; let's end it in style!!

2006-03-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

The last big hoorah at the Hoyne house. I was going to type my own blog, but I'm just linking Danny instead. http://dannydoom.com/ This should be a whole hell of a lot of fun. What better way to end the Legion of Doom era. If you know me, please get in touch with me if you are interested. You know how. Or leave a comment of how I can reach you. Cheers! And since the Southside Irish Parade is this Sunday, Slainte! This should be a hell of a weekend.

Oh Yeah

2006-03-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

"Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive."

HUH???

2006-03-07T11:03:00.000-08:00

I recieved a text message. It came last night. I saw it this morning. It was from a phone # I did not recognize. The message said: "What is your #?" I responded with: "Huh? If you are texting me, you have my #. Who is this?" No response. Was it you? Puzzled I am. Why am I talking like Yoda? Another mystery to ponder over today.

It's 5:12 AM and I can't sleep anymore

2006-03-07T05:13:00.000-08:00

I got a little crazy with the cheese wiz on Sunday and had to take an Utch Day yesterday. Sleep I did lots. I wanted to watch a movie last night but instead fell asleep on the couch watching a documentary on channel 20 about Buick around 8:30. Now I'm wide awake. Guess I'll make a pot of coffee and be up.

This picture was taken in Nogalas, Mexico. As soon is this man got done sucking on his melon he chased me down the street and made me give him a dollar for the picture. I knew he would not leave me alone until I did, so I gave him a dollar.

Sweet!!

2006-03-02T12:01:00.000-08:00

3,000 pre-sale Lollapalooza tickets went on sale today. $45 bucks. 3 days. I got 2. There was a limit. Last year they went on sale for $35 and my dumb ass decided to wait because I didn't know what the line up was going to be or if it would actually happen. I ended up paying over a $100 for a ticket. It was still worth it. It was a fantastic weekend. Well, this year, besides a few ideas, I don't know what the line up is, but had decided that as soon tickets were available I would just buy em. Yeah! Pumped!

Take a Hike February

2006-03-01T12:31:00.000-08:00

I'd just like to say that it is March 1st. and no longer February. So long February. Hello March!! Actually, this last February didn't get me down nearly as much as February's in the past have. I think the combination of going somewhere warm for a week and coming back and starting a recording session helped.

Nick Ritz

Guitars, Bass, Vocals, Drums, Trust Specialist

P.S. Tonight on JBTV see Milk at Midnight in the video for "Never Liked It Here Much Anyway," 11pm on WJYS (it's got religious programming on it normally, you know you watch it! It might be 28 if you don't have cable, or 32 if you do).

Also, catch it on JBTV on cable channel 25, Thursday night at 8pm and Sunday night at Midnight!

Since 1986 Jerry Bryant has been playing videos on JBTV, he's a good man, check it out!

Radial Distortion Algorithm

2006-02-28T16:47:00.000-08:00

Hot damn! Been busy today. No bloggie blog. Checked out the Yeah Yeah Yeah's last night. Great show! Found out today my title is Trust Specialist. Had a little one on one with the boss earlier today about objectives. I told her that I objected to having to do my job well unless I'm allowed to come in shitfaced everyday. She thought this sounded like a fantastic idea. In fact, the best idea I've had all year. I should definitely keep the ideas coming. Keep that mind machine rolling, son. Doesn't this look like a Trust Specialist you'd like to get loaded with? http://www.flickr.com/photos/drkfiber/94237168/ CHEERS!!

Another Weekend and Stuff

2006-02-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

Bowled in the dark on Friday. Ended up at a party with underage drinkers. Wasn't comfortable with it and left. Ended up at a Mexican bar. Played pool with a man who spoke no English. I speak no Spanish, except for some words for certain food items which would not have been appropriate in this situation. He whooped my ass a few times, at pool that is. Struggled through a very bad tap beer from Diversey Bowl hangover on Saturday and finished recording guitars. Slammed full on Vulgon into The End of the Party Wall that evening and missed all the fun. Ouch! It hurt. Cleaned up after some messy pussies on Sunday while tiptoeing through the tulips and doing Jesus Jumping Jacks with coffee. Watched Hustle and Flow. The friend who suggested it said "This was much better than I expected." I ditto that.

What do you think of Drkfiber? That picture was taken moments after he flogged his damn dummy and seconds before rats nibbled him away into dust.

"Post a picture you haven't thought about in at least 2 years."

2006-02-26T15:12:00.000-08:00

Here ya go drkfiber!

Message to the girl nextdoor

2006-02-24T13:07:00.000-08:00

I was going to tape this to her door, but have decided I will tape it to mine instead. If you think I might have left any simple facts about apartment living out, please feel free to send them my way.

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHILE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT IN THE CITY

It is true that some people are just really loud. I also believe there are some people that do not know how to live in the city. Here are a few tips.

1. People are going to walk around and live their day to day lives and do
their day to day things and often you are going to hear it. Folks could benefit from purchasing a fan or some sort of noise machine to block some of this out. Just a suggestion.

2. Vacuuming at 3:30 in the morning is bad. Vacuuming at 10:30 on a Saturday morning is not bad. Pounding so hard that the building shakes while your neighbor is doing this is always bad.

3. When playing music, watching television, or a movie, as long as it is not as loud as a Who concert, anything before 9:00 PM is fair game. On Friday and Saturday night I believe anything before 10:00 PM also is fair game.

4. Pounding so hard that the building shakes is ALWAYS bad. Standing outside your neighbor’s door while they are listening to music in the middle of the afternoon shouting WOO HOO!! and stomping on the floor is also always bad.

These are just simple facts. If people can’t live with this then I suggest moving to the country or a nice quiet suburb.

Thank you.

Ah, Poor Rod

2006-02-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

Apparently he didn't know it was a spoof:

No joke! Blagojevich took `Daily' seriously

Published February 24, 2006

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich says he didn't realize "The Daily Show" was a spoof of the news when he sat down for an interview.

"It was going to be an interview on contraceptives . . . that's all I knew about it," Blagojevich, laughingly, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch in a story for Thursday's editions. "I had no idea I was going to be asked if I was `the gay governor."

Interviewer Jason Jones pretended to stumble over Blagojevich's name before calling him "Gov. Smith." He later asked if Blagojevich was "the gay governor."

At one point, a startled Blagojevich looked to someone off camera and said, "Is he teasing me, or is that legit?"

The segment, which has aired, also featured Illinois state Rep. Ron Stephens, who has said he knew the show hosted by Jon Stewart was a comedy.

"I thought the governor was hip enough that he would have known that too," Stephens said.

----------The Personals page was compiled by Cristi
Kempf from Tribune news services and staff reports.

Copyright © 2006, Chicago Tribune

Listen

2006-02-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

It is my own fault I forgot to bring my lunch today just like it is my own fault that I forgot to bring it yesterday. I can go on making excuses and blaming others for my flaw, but I know, and now you know, that it is simply my own fault. I just need to except this simple fact and go on with my life. Thank you for listening and helping me see this for what it is and helping me get through these dreadful times of the forgotten lunch. Have a nice day.

Sincerely,
The Staff

A Chrome Protection

2006-02-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

Catherine Wheel was by far one of my favorite bands of the 90's. They never really recieved the recognition they deserved, but I don't mind that. Kind of like having your own brilliant little secret. Unfortunately I never saw them live, so last night's Rob Dickinson show at Schubas was a special treat for me, and he did not disappoint. Not only is he a great song writer with a great voice, but he had an incredible amount of stage presence and energy. The show was just him, an acoustic guitar, a harmonica, a distortion pedal, and a delay pedal . He played many songs from the new album but also played a fair amount of Catherine Wheel songs including Heal, Eat My Dust You Insensitive Fuck, Crank, and Black Metallic. I believe that might have been one of the best solo performances I've ever seen. This music fan is very inspired today.

Love my superstitious games
Running circles round my brain when I'm left smiling

I love to steal this living steam
My head in someone's dream
I'm tired of sleeping

Call me crank, my idea
Crank, so super
Crank, my conscience clear

I build my canopy of steel
It fulfills my sense of real
A chrome protection

Call me crank, my idea
Crank, so super
Crank, my conscience clear
It's clear